Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Say Bye to Allergies Now! How to Bathe a Pussy Cat in 14 steps:

Sure, I suffered from stuffy noses and watery eyes when in contact with some friend’s cats.  They were dirty cats! I believe a human who hasn’t bathed in 10 years would also instigate such a reaction.
Solution:  Bath time for the meow meow.  Here’s how:
(Joules Craft)
(Joules Craft)
(Preparation steps ensure a swifter experience.  Some cats fear new experiences and water if they associate it with a past trauma like water in the ears or nose or merely the loud noise it makes.  It’s most important to make the experience as gentle as possible to prevent a fearful scaredy cat reaction.)

Pre-bath prep:
1) Gently use a specialized pet nail clipper tool to clip and file the front and back claws of your furry friend the day before in order to not overwhelm him or her.

Clip only the tippy translucent tips otherwise it can feel like chopping off a pets finger.  If you have doubts, seek professional help. Cat claws are dangerous, but clipping is a humane way to prevent them from getting a firm lock on the tub, shower curtain, or your face.

If you have a longhair cat, brush them and cut out all dreadlocks.

Gather Materials:
1) pet shampoo or gentle baby dandruff shampoo
2) big dry towel
3) cat treats/snacks (mine love smoked turkey slices or fresh canned tuna bits),
4) cat dental hygiene products for after the bath
5) possibly a small plastic bin that can fit in a tub in case you must submerge the entire body of the cat  when using a flea dip
6) make sure you can prevent escape out of the tub by using barriers like shampoo bottles holding down the shower curtain in the corners
7) make sure you have a bath/shower strainer for the globs of hairballs that will otherwise clog everything
8) hair dryer with a low cool setting or a fan (not all cats will tolerate this)
(Joules Craft)
(Joules Craft)
Ok here we go yo:
Step 1: Clean the cat litterbox.  The entire bathing process will be wasted if they find the need to use the litter box immediately after the bath as they may be sopping sticky wet.

Step 2: Capture your kitty and close the bathroom door. Beware: they may start to meow at this point.  Offer treats now.

Step 3: Fill tub with warm comfortable water. You’re not boiling your cat for cat stew for gods sake.  Stop the water flow as the sound of flowing water can make them freak out.
Step 4: Slowly, carefully, and calmly submerge your cat while clasping its front claws in a hugging motion. Less shock leads to less freak outs. Offer treats again.

Step 5: Massage in shampoo to wet fur. Avoid getting any water in their eyes, ears, or nose!  You may wipe their face gently with your wet hands to clean globs out of their eyes.

Step 6: Make sure to rinse extremely well and not leave any slippery suds on their body! You don’t want them licking soap off their fur, or they will never let you bathe them again and will fight harder. My cat lets me support his head as he floats on his back while enjoying the balance of lack of gravity—but hell, I’m a cat whisperer.
kitty 3
After bath care time:
Step 7: Prior to setting your cat free, hold them out of the water either on your lap on in the drained tub.  Gently squeeze every part of pussy cats body to essentially wring out the fur in a downward motion like you’re squeezing cow udders for milk.  Repeat several times as gravity will draw the water down kitties legs and tail tip.
kitty 4
Squeeze kitties paws and tail like you’re milking cow udders!

Step 8: Set the pussy free to shake excess water off really quick.

Step 9: Grab dry towel and recapture the wet pussy and proceed to wrap them in a kitty burrito with only the head sticking out so they can breath.

Step 10: While in this restrained position, take advantage ofbrushing your cat’s teeth or using a plaque remover oral cat spray.  They will try to lick all the remaining water off, so you want them to have a fresh and clean mouth. Otherwise their entire body will smell like the canned tuna you gave them as a treat!
Photo of Author
Step 11: Absorb extra moisture by rubbing the towel in a circular motion.  Clockwise if you’re in the northern hemisphere of course.

Step 12: Some cats don’t mind a hair dryer held a safe distance from them. Please make sure the temperature is cool and always keep one hand under it to ensure comfort. I had a cat go ballistic and swat madly at the obnoxious dryer. A fan pointed at them may also work.  They may start to shiver, so dry them especially if it’s cold.

Step 13: They are likely to hide immediately after release, so ensure they don’t have access to outside, as they will cake trash and dust to their bodies if you do.

Step 14: Notice your cat allergies virtually disappear.
Some folks say they are allergic to cats. Cats DO NOT cause allergies if they and their bedding are cleaned regularly.  The dust and dander gets flushed down the drain and it’s gone.

After having received such a diagnosis from a healthcare professional that tried to force me to “get rid of” my cat friend. They even said I had an unavoidable/vague allergy to “dust,” according to a dermal injection of foreign particles that bodies usually reject!

Hell, no one is “allergic to mosquitoes, although everyone gets a bump when mosquitoes bite them, due to the anticoagulant blood thinner they inject in you, so they can more easily absorb your blood.

The moral of the story
I soon realized that: it is absolutely natural for our human bodies to react to any particle that tries to pollute our lungs through our nose, hence the stuffy nose effect to prevent particles from going inside you.

Any fine particle landing on your skin can make you itch as well, as your body detects foreign substances. Whatever.  If you don’t properly care for cats, cat’s may become allergic to you!
(Joules Craft)
(Joules Craft)
Clean Gingerina Cream Dream Queen in a kitty burrito. Awwwww!

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